I’m a God-conscious, professional, proactive member of society who loves my family. Stead fast in my faith, I refused to let it go just because society told me I could not exist within it , because of what was within me.

Tried every which way to find a way out.

But why was I looking for a way out of the person…when I had hardly looked within the “I”.

Within was a functional man, looking to live a productive life, with a practical guidebook.

Where was this practical guidebook? I was too afraid to search for Allah in case I found out that they were right all along….that I was abhorred and truly was meant to suffer a life long.

There had to be a way. There had to be a way to the watering hole. Shari’ah. That’s wat it means to me….a search for the path to the watering hole. I prayed for 15 years, for a change of heart, to be normal, to just be the person they all expected me to be. 15 years I cried and begged and asked ‘why me man ?!!??’.

I couldn’t escape it anymore. I had to face Allah willingly. As the ‘I’ Allah wanted me to be.

I was running away….but the road ran out….and I was on the precipice of a cliff edge.

Two choices: continue running the other way until I lost everything and everyone to the despair and the dark; or take a breath, reach out and leap towards Him.

‘I am near to My servants’ Quran 2:186

Well here I am, my Lord.

• High School Chronicles (8)
• His-story (14)
• Pluralism (1)
• Prelude (2)
• Revelation (2)
• Turning point (1)
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The Pragaymatic Muslim

1. 

   Ahahha. Thank you dear reader. Please do forward this on to those whom you think may benefit. High school is…

2. 

   Oh can’t wait for the next part. Very captivating.

3. 

   Merci beaucoup. If it pleases you then I will strive to compose more. Please spread the word and invite others…

4. 

   I like reading these!

5. 

   […] about how to suppress and repress the dark thoughts and suicidal ideations that plagued me at the turning point…